Frodo Baggins Arrested for Child Sex Crimes

Frodo Baggins escaped the perils of Mordor, but he could not elude the all-seeing eye of the U.S. military criminal justice system.

You read that correctly.

The Lord of the Rings star Elijah Wood, it turns out, had fetishes far more twisted and eviler than merely coveting the One Ring. In the films he treasured the ring, his precious; in reality, the Two Towers actor had a different precious: underage boys whom he had paid or seduced to have sex with him, according to sources in the U.S. Navy Judge Advocate General’s Corps.

This sordid tale began long ago, years after Wood finished filming Return of the King, the final film of the trilogy. The diminutive actor burned through what cash he had earned—spent on drugs and male prostitutes—then learned from fellow actor Ian McKellen, known as “Gandalf the Gay” in the Velvet Mafia, that young boys with aspirations of making it big in Hollywood could be seduced with cash or promises of acting roles.

The Velvet Mafia, in short, is a group of homosexual male actors, many of whom craftily conceal their homoerotic tendencies beneath the veneer of a heterosexual marriage, that prey on kids looking to break into the industry.

Wood’s career tanked after the trilogy. Typecast as a Hobbit, he found it impossible to secure meaningful roles as a lead actor, even having auditioned for 120 big-budget productions between 2003-2018. His most prominent role in recent years was playing a sadistic serial killer in Madman, a 2013 remake of a 1981 slasher film in which a psychotic ax murderer slices and dices his victims into tiny pieces. “That role really made me feel real, ultimate power,” Wood told Entertainment Weekly in a 2014 interview. “I am the Madman.”

Let’s digress: In August Real Raw News reported that JAG had established a “child sex crimes division” focused on bringing to justice both politicians and celebrities whom courts refused to prosecute despite having an abundance of irrefutable evidence.

In March 2022, a onetime friend of Wood, a venture capitalist named Craig Meiselman, loaned Wood $225k after Wood told him he was down on his luck and needed some cash to stay afloat. Wood reportedly promised to repay the loan in 90 days, saying he had secured a role with a huge cash payout. That statement was a lie; Wood hadn’t auditioned for a role in over a year.

When Meiselman tried to collect, a belligerent and intoxicated Wood said he never intended to make good on the debt, and admitted he’d squandered the cash on drugs, alcohol, and sex with underage boys. Wood didn’t know that Meiselman, who had made several previous and unsuccessful attempts to collect the debt, recorded Wood’s confession. An unrestrained and inebriated Wood blurted on about how he had enticed “dozens” of young boys to his bedchamber and had his “way with them” and said that both he and they “loved it,” even as several victims cried out in pain. Wood spoke of sodomizing them not only with his penis but also with objects such as bowling pins and vegetables.

A month later, Meiselman took his recordings to the Los Angeles County District Attorney’s Office, and played them to D.A. George Gascón, who called the tapes spurious, inconclusive, and almost certainly fabricated. He dismissed the accusations as perjurious hearsay.

Meiselman never brought his tapes to JAG’s child sex crimes division, for he had no way of knowing that the military had begun prosecuting and incarcerating celebrities. But JAG’s counterparts at U.S. Army Cyber Command, Fort Gordon, had been surreptitiously tracking celebrity sex crimes, and in July opened an investigation into Wood’s alleged misdeeds.

JAG reached out to Meiselman and obtained the tapes, and Meiselman revealed to investigators that Wood had in drug-induced stupors confessed to molesting dozens of underage boys across the country, and named names.

Investigators of the U.S. Navy Judge Advocate General’s Corps launched a lengthy investigation into the claims and were able to find six witnesses willing to go on record, a JAG source said.

Their affidavits and the tapes gave JAG sufficient cause to secure a military arrest warrant in Wood’s name.

On Monday, October 3, JAG investigators arrested Wood at a Los Angeles home he had been renting since early 2022. He reportedly told investigators he had never served in the military and didn’t understand why they were levelling charges against him. When shown the arrest warrant and told he was being charged with child sex crimes, Wood said, “I never did anything that wasn’t 100% consensual.”

Wood, a pedophile, will answer for his crimes, a JAG source said.

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