Gavin Newsom Awakens from Vaccine Coma – At GITMO

Failed California Governor Gavin Newsom got a rude awakening, literally, when he first opened his eyes Monday morning following a 11-day-long vaccine-induced coma that he fell into shortly after receiving a Covid-19 booster shot. The first thing Newsom saw through eyes opened to narrow slits were a Navy physician removing an intubation tube from his mouth and Rear Adm. Crandall looming over the hospital bed on which he lay.

Newsom tried to cough, but he hadn’t the strength. Frail and gaunt, the ever-thin Newsom had lost so much weight, he looked more inhuman than human. He winced as if in pain as the physician waved a penlight before his eyes.

“We’re delighted you’re still with us,” Rear Adm. Crandall told him, according to a GITMO source familiar with the incident.

“What the?” Newsom gurgled. “I’m in hell. My wife, my kids.

“They’re fine, which is more than can be said about you. Looks like that vaccine you push so hard didn’t work too well for you,” Rear Adm. Crandall reportedly said.

Newsom’s breath came slow and shallow. He choked on his words, struggling to speak. “Placebo. I was supposed to get a placebo.”

“You Deep Staters are always double-crossing one another,” Rear Adm. Crandall said. “When medically fit, you will be put on trial, held accountable for thousands of fatalities. Enjoy this reprieve while you can.”

JAG and the Office of Military Commissions will seek the death penalty, our source said. Although he was unable to provide to RRN a complete list of charges, he said that JAG will hold Newsom to account for the deaths of “thousands” of senior citizens and 600 California children who had developed lethal staph infections from prolonged mask usage, as well as 4,000 vaccine-related fatalities that he had obfuscated by ordering the California Department of Public Health to blame the deaths on other causes, like heart attacks, diabetic shock, aneurisms, etc.

JAG, our source added, has already subpoenaed witnesses to testify against Newsom, including members of his staff, employees of CDPH, and friends and family privy to his wanton corruption. Several potential witnesses expressed joy at the idea of seeing Newsom hang, while others had to be finagled—comply or be charged as an accomplice.

Lesser charges, which JAG might not pursue at trial, include Newsom’s “pay-for-pandemic” scheme, in which he accepted $30m in “campaign contributions” from the CEOs of Netflix, Hulu, and other streaming services in exchange for keeping movie theaters and entertainment centers shut down during the plandemic. The endgame was to boost sales for struggling streaming services and, in turn, bankrupt the theater industry.

“There’s enough evidence on Newsom as there was on Cuomo, if not more. His fate is pretty much sealed. I imagine right now he’s wishing that vaccine actually killed him,” our source said.