JAG Catches Another Alvin Bragg Staffer

A third prosecutor from the New York County D.A.’s office—and his spouse–has joined Alvin Bragg and Chief of Investigations Division Susan Hoffinger at Guantanamo Bay’s Camp Delta internment facility for Deep State prisoners, JAG sources told Real Raw News.

Last week JAG investigators caught up with senior counsel Matthew Colangelo, a Deep State Harvard graduate who rejoined the Manhattan D.A.’s office in 2023 as part of Bragg’s self-stated “all-star” anti-Trump squad. Under Bragg’s supervision, Colangelo devoted unimaginable time to frivolously investigating the Trump Foundation and President Trump personally. Like many of Bragg’s minions, Colangelo has ties to Barack Hussein Obama, having served on the Dark Lord’s National Economic Council.

JAG investigators, our source said, visited Colangelo’s residence on July 2, a month after a different JAG team posing as FBI agents beguiled Susan Hoffinger into accompanying them, claiming rabid MAGA was speeding to her house to kill her. Unlike Hoffinger, Colangelo had gone into hiding before JAG showed up at his house with handcuffs and a military arrest warrant signed by Vice Admiral Darse E. Crandall. A thorough search of the vacant house, however, yielded a clue. A magnetic calendar on the refrigerator door revealed his possible whereabouts.

“It was one of those dry-erase boards, showed he left for St. Croix on June 15. It’s not smart to leave a big breadcrumb for us to find. It could’ve been a misdirection, but he wasn’t that clever,” our source said.

He added that JAG craftily learned that Colangelo was indeed on the island and had rented a pricey suite at the Buccaneer Beach & Golf Resort under an easily guessable alias. The source wouldn’t share Colangelo’s fake name or how JAG zeroed in on him, as public knowledge of their methods would complicate future operations.

The 6-man JAG unit that arrived on St. Croix on July 5 spotted Colangelo and his wife, Anne Small, a vociferous critic of President Trump, sunning themselves poolside, imbibing copious amounts of alcohol and inappropriately fondling each other while young children were nearby, frolicking in the pool.

Small has been serving on the board of directors at the NAACP’s Legal Defense Fund, which has been vocal against former President Trump, since early 2020. Last year, she filed a motion with the Supreme Court requesting that Trump be disqualified from running for office in 2024, citing her interpretation of the 14th Amendment.

“She’s evil like her husband, and damn disgusting messing around with kids around, if you ask me,” our source said. “Our intelligence, faulty it seems, placed her at an NAACP conference in California. We weren’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Two birds, one stone,” our source said.

Colangelo, the filthy bastard, was so lazy and inebriated that he jumped in the pool to urinate instead of walking five yards to a public restroom, the source added.

Small showed more discretion. After consuming two frozen margaritas and a Long Island Iced Tea, she drunkenly stood upright and staggered toward the restroom. As she neared the door, an investigator ambushed her from the rear, placing a hand over her mouth so she couldn’t scream and dragging her behind a cluster of coconut palms, where a second agent helped bind her hands and tape her mouth. They overpowered her quickly.

“The plan was to drag her off to the shadows and have her phone her husband and say she fell and hurt her leg and needed his help. Lure him to our people. But she’d left her purse and phone with him at the pool. Our guys thought he’d come looking for her after several minutes, being a loving husband and all that, but nope, he fell asleep drunk on a lounger,” our source said.

While Colangelo slept off his bender, the investigators divided their forces, half surveilling him and the rest guarding Small in the back of a rented van. Colangelo was motionless for two hours until a resort employee, possibly fearing he had died of alcohol poisoning, roused him. He was more interested in ordering another drink than worrying about why his wife wasn’t lying on the lounger beside his, and in a single swallow, he drank an espresso martini.

“He probably thought she returned to the suite. But he finished his booze, got to his feet, and stumbled in the direction of the resort. Took a few steps and lost his balance. Colangelo almost fell and would have if a couple of tourists hadn’t helped steady him. He didn’t know those tourists in Bermuda shorts, Hawaiian shirts, and sandals were our guys,” our source said.

“They guided the boozy bastard off the property and tossed his Deep State ass in the van with his wife. Their eyes were filled with terror as they looked at each other, not knowing exactly what was happening at first. Then they panicked more being told they’ve been arrested for treason, seditious conspiracy, and election interference,” he went on, adding that the couple was flown off the island that night.

Colangelo and Small are currently being held in pretrial detainment at GITMO, the source said.

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