Marines Kick FEMA Out of Tennessee

United States Marines on Monday unceremoniously ejected FEMA from Tennessee, where agents of the criminal agency had hoped to terrorize and loot God-fearing citizens whose lives turned to shambles after a freak winter tornado outbreak struck parts of Nashville and Clarksville Saturday night.

The violent twisters killed six, injured dozens, left thousands without power, and flattened homes, motivating city managers to phone Washington for federal disaster relief. When Clarksville Mayor Joe Pitts called FEMA Region 4 Administrator Robert Samaan, he was told FEMA was already packing its bags for a road trip to the Volunteer State. Neither Pitts nor Samaan knew they had an eavesdropper on the line; White Hats at U.S. Army Cyber Command (ARCYBER) overheard the conversation and notified their associates at General Smith’s Camp Pendelton office.

A source in Gen. Smith’s office told Real Raw News that White Hat leadership arranged for Marine expeditionary units to visit the storm-stricken regions, but he admitted that FEMA arrived in Tennessee ahead of the Marines.

“It wasn’t sluggishness on our part. It’s an issue of resource allocation. We’re presently involved in takedowns and national and international operations, clearing a path for President Trump when he officially retakes office on or before January 2025,” our source said.

Within hours of arriving in Tennessee Monday evening, the Marines began hearing stories about FEMA operatives robbing people blind. The Marines spoke with a man huddled beside his wife outside the splintered remains of their home. He told the Marines he had grabbed his emergency cash—about $2000—and a few family heirlooms and fled the house moments before a twister dropped down on it, shredding it like beets in a blender. The couple sought shelter with friends that night, with plans to find a vacant hotel room the following afternoon. While en route to the hotel, which tripled its rates, obviously price gouging, the husband and wife made a grave error: They made a pitstop at a FEMA aid station to fill out relief recovery forms and get a few bottles of water.

Before acknowledging the man’s concerns, FEMA wanted to know if he was armed. The man foolishly confessed he had a pistol in the glovebox, which FEMA said it must inspect to ensure the safety of its personnel. He told the Marines he capitulated to mollify the agitated agents and avoid a confrontation, as the agents carried sidearms on their hips. He claimed FEMA “seized” his lawfully owned Sig Saur P365 under the auspices of federal “Red Flag” laws.

“They said to me they was taking my gun because I was jittery and unpredictable. Yeah, I was nervous—I had four FEMA breathing down my neck interrogating me and all we wanted was the paperwork and water,” the man told a Marine lieutenant.

Having stolen the man’s pistol, FEMA then asked whether he was carrying “surplus” cash. Angered and confused, he bitingly said he had two grand so he and his wife wouldn’t have to sleep in the streets or bother friends for temporary lodging. FEMA insisted he show them the money—to determine if he qualified for immediate “financial assistance.” Agitated beyond the ability to coherently express himself, the man opened his billfold and counted 23 $100 bills, saying, “See, that’s all we got.”

The FEMA agent-in-charge glanced at him incredulously and said, “Why did you tell me you only had two thousand when there’s twenty-three hundred here? What else aren’t you telling us? What else aren’t you declaring?”

The man informed the agent he had no more, that Bidenomics had bankrupted him, and that he lived paycheck to paycheck, scraping together what he could to pay the mortgage on his now-demolished home and provide for his unemployed wife.

“Now I know you’re lying,” the agent reportedly told him, “because wages are increasing and the economy is booming. We’re confiscating this cash unless you can prove you gainfully earned it. We can do that under civil asset forfeiture laws.”

Broke, defenseless, and unable to afford a hotel room, the man and his wife had to seek refuge with neighbors whose homes survived the storm.

“It’s not that the Marines didn’t believe this story. In fact, it aligned with FEMA’s past actions. They did want firsthand confirmation,” our source said.

Monday afternoon, a Marine sergeant disguised himself as a displaced storm refugee. He had replaced his uniform with dirty jeans and an oversized hoodie, and he had pulled a knit cap over his head to hide his high and tight haircut, a telltale sign he might be military. He tucked a sidearm in the back of his waistband before approaching the FEMA “aid station” while his fellow Marines lurked a short distance away and watched his every move.

“Hold it there, buddy, you don’t look so healthy,” a FEMA goon said as the Marine neared the aid station. “Are you sick? Have you been in contact with anyone who’s had Covid in the last 14 days?”

The sergeant said he was in perfect health but was concerned about looters ransacking and pillaging what remained in his dilapidated home.

“Do you have cash or gold there? Or on your person?” the FEMA agent asked.

“Well, no, I just need some water please,” the Marine sergeant said.

“What do you have to barter?” said the FEMA agent. “If you don’t have anything on you, we can browse what’s in your rubble.”

“Well, I do have something,” the sergeant said.

“And what’s that?” the FEMA guy said.

“This!” the sergeant exclaimed, drawing his sidearm and putting two bullets in the agent’s chest. He then switched targets, emptying his magazine into the two other FEMA hoods who had been chuckling raucously only a second ago.

The Marines found a lockbox with $16,500 in cash and gold jewelry at FEMA’s relief station.

Systematically, Marine reconnaissance and scout/sniper squads assaulted six FEMA aid stations around the Clarksville and Nashville areas, reportedly killing or grievously wounding 27 FEMA personnel and forcing 50 more to flee the disaster area.

According to our source, the Marines destroyed four FEMA vehicles trying to flee Nashville along Interstate 24, and they recovered over $140,000 in stolen cash and jewelry from  FEMA aid stations in Clarksville and Nashville.

“We don’t have a full battle damage assessment yet, but we’ve pushed the federal marauders out. We had some minor injuries—no fatalities. We’re making sure these poor people get their money and belongings back,” our source said.

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