Military Tribunal Convicts Bill Clinton

The Office of Military Commissions on Tuesday convicted former President William Jefferson Clinton on charges of treason and child trafficking, but sentenced him to life in prison instead of death after he threw himself on the mercy of the court in a tearful collapse.

The three officers serving as both judge and jury rendered a verdict less than two hours into the proceedings, as Vice Adm. John G. Hannink, prosecuting JAG’s case, provided evidence of Clinton’s participation in “adrenochrome parties” and of his many visits to Epstein Island, where he and convicted pedophile Jeffrey Epstein had taken part in drug-fueled parties with underage children.

Many of those children, Vice Adm. Hannink told the panel, were victims of a child trafficking ring that Bill and his now-deceased wife had orchestrated during Clinton’s presidency. It eventually blossomed into a $1,000,000,000/year industry in which the Clintons and their friends either profited from or partook in criminal, lascivious behavior. Vice Adm. Hannink showed the tribunal transaction records proving that minors—often runaways and orphans—were routinely flown on chartered jets to Epstein Island and other secret locations, including the Clintons’ majestic $3,000,000 mansion on Whitehaven Street, Washington, D.C.

“Innocent children were coming and going from that home, and no one said a word. No one said a word because Bill Clinton controlled everything. Since all his pals were involved, no one talked back then, as talking would have implicated them or got them killed. Make no mistake, for the Clintons, killing was as easy as breathing. Bill Clinton, rapist, murderer, traitor, had limitless power to engage in reprehensible crimes,” Vice Adm. Hannink said.

As he spoke, Clinton’s attorney David E. Kendall continued his courtroom theatrics, accusing the tribunal of malicious prosecution, and showcasing flimsy evidence.

“With deference to the commission, my client never visited Epstein Island. Yes, his name appears on multiple flight manifests, but not in his handwriting. He never raped anyone, and all those women claiming he did were just seeking a moment of fame in the limelight. My client, a former president of the United States, should be shown all the respect of a man having held his position,” Kendall said.

Vice Adm. Hannink responded by producing a dozen images, which he showed the tribunal, that clearly showed Bill, Jeffrey Epstein, and Ghislaine Maxwell engaging in sexual activity with underage boys and girls.

“We obtained these photographs courtesy of Ghislaine Maxwell,” Vice Adm. Hannink said. “And we have many more.”

“She rolled on me?” Clinton blurted.

“Indeed she has. She told us how, after molesting them, you would openly threaten to kill them and frighten them out of their minds, then strap them down to gurneys and draw blood to convert into that adrenochrome concoction you people seem to love so much. She told us how you had erectile dysfunction, and that chronic use of conventional ED meds eventually made them useless. But you got newfound vim and vigor from Adrenochrome,” Vice Adm. Hannink said.

Kendall objected, citing hearsay.

Before he could finish his objection, Vice Adm. Hannink maneuvered to a laptop at the prosecutor’s table and rapped on the keys. A moment later, the face of Ghislaine Maxwell, live via a ZOOM call from her 6X9’ foot holding cell in a NY prison, appeared on screen. She corroborated the prosecution’s arguments, claiming she had personally witnessed Clinton have sex with 23 different minors between 1995-2016.

In either a transformative moment or a ploy, Clinton suddenly broke down in tears. He asked the tribunal for a moment to confer privately with his lawyer, and Vice Adm. Hannink put the tribunal on recess for 15 minutes.

Afterward, Kendall addressed the court: “William Jefferson Clinton committed the most egregious crimes known to man. He is truly remorseful and regrets his crimes. He accepts full accountability. He stipulates to all charges, and asks to be spared capitol punishment. He is 74 years old and in poor health and has one foot in the grave already. His only child has been left motherless. Should she be left fatherless, too?”

‘That only child will be here soon enough,” Vice Adm. Hannink interjected.

“Death for my client would be a swift and merciful punishment. If you don’t feel he deserves mercy, then spending whatever life he has left in prison would be a more fitting punishment. He throws himself on the mercy of this tribunal in making that decision,” Kendall finished.

“Were it up to me, personally, I’d show him no mercy, but it is these officers who must decide,” Vice Adm. Hannink said.

The officers charged with deciding Clinton’s fate spent an hour in private deliberation, after which they unanimously agreed that Clinton would spend the last years of his life at GITMO’s Camp Delta, there to endure the same treatment afforded the Islamic Jihadists who had once inhabited the gruesome dwelling.