Chelsea Clinton Military Tribunal: Day 2

Day 1 of Chelsea Clinton’s military tribunal had ended abruptly when her lawyer, Clinton Foundation attorney Robert S. Harrison, excused himself from the proceedings to take, what he said, was an urgent telephone call that could reshape the outcome of the trial, purportedly to Chelsea’s benefit. When the tribunal resumed Wednesday morning, however, Harrison entered the courtroom with a grim frown on his sleepless face. He sat beside a hand-cuffed Chelsea Clinton, who had smiled as he approached, and whispered something in her ear. Her grin turned suddenly dark, and she hung her head as Harrison apologized profusely to the commission for having interrupted witness testimony the day before.

“I take it your ‘new evidence’ didn’t pan out,” Rear Adm. Darse E. Crandall said of Harrison’s alleged mysterious phone call.

“Neither my client nor I accept the legality of this tribunal, but for what it’s worth, I am sorry for the delay,” Harrison said.

“I take it they’ll be no further delays,” Rear Adm. Crandall replied.

“Only if I must,” Harrison said. His brusque tone clearly illustrated contempt and a palpable, personal enmity toward Rear Adm. Crandall.

Marc Mezvinsky returned to the stand, and Rear Adm. Crandall asked him to recount his early days as Chelsea Clinton’s husband.

“At first it was wonderful, blissful, serene. We were in love. We never fought. We did everything together. I got along smashingly with her parents, and she with mine. It really seemed like a marriage made in heaven and I was looking forward to spending my whole life with her,” Mezvinsky said.

Rear Adm. Crandall asked Mezvinsky to clarify what “at first” meant.

“About 9 months into our marriage everything changed. This sweet woman became a bossy bitch. It was like a light switch had been flipped—”

Harrison sprung to his feet, unceremoniously objecting that his client’s demeanor was not on trial.

“What is this? Are you charging Chelsea Clinton with being nasty and bossy? This is outrageous,” Harrison said.

“This is a military tribunal, Mr. Harrison, you have no authority to object,” Rear Adm. Crandall admonished him.

“Then I renew my objection, on the grounds that my client is not and never was a member of the United States military, and therefore cannot be charged for any crime in this venue,” Harrison barked.

Rear Adm. Crandall’s eyes narrowed, and he instructed two Marines who were guarding the chamber doors to eject Harrison from the courtroom. Harrison protested, decrying the tribunal an “indecorous den of depravity,” as the Marines expelled him and locked the courtroom doors.

Rear Adm. Crandall addressed Chelsea: “Your advocate has bad legal decorum. I hope you, at least, understand the severity of the charges against you.”

For the first time, Chelsea Clinton spoke. “I refuse to speak.”

“All the better,” Rear Adm. Crandall quipped. “Please continue, Mr. Mezvinsky.”

Mezvinsky elaborated on how Chelsea had rapidly metamorphosized from a loving wife into a spitting image of her mother, a foul-mouthed hag whose niggling and incessant demands eroded his dignity and moral compass.

“I was told by Chelsea and Hillary that if I wanted to be with Chelsea, I’d have to participate in the family business,” Mezvinsky said.

“On the surface, aiding the Clinton Foundation in its legal business,” Mezvinsky said.

“And beneath the surface?” Rear Adm. Crandall said.

“I methodically destroyed any evidence that linked the Clintons to a child-trafficking ring that Hillary was in charge of and Chelsea participated in. I know it was wrong, but I loved her and blindly did whatever it took to keep her,” Mezvinsky said.

He claimed Chelsea, under her mother’s tutelage, had overseen the abduction of hundreds of children in the United States and Haiti.

“I want to cooperate, Mr. Crandall, but I have a splitting headache. I know you don’t want delays, but is it possible to continue tomorrow?” Mezvinsky asked.

Rear Adm. Crandall seemed to deliberate the question. “In the interest of cooperation, I’ll grant the request, and we’ll resume Thursday at 8:00 a.m.”

Note: I’m a day behind in getting reports, so will update as soon as possible.