Military Convicts Chelsea Clinton

Marc Mezvinsky’s testimony resumed Thursday morning, and his remarks helped slam shut Chelsea Clinton’s proverbial coffin.

Rear Adm. Crandall opened the day by asking Mezvinsky about the 3 Haitian children who were passengers in Chelsea’s rented Mercedes at the time of her arrest.

“They were imported into the country some time ago; I don’t remember exactly when. They were meant to be gifts to a friend of the Clinton foundation,” Mezvinsky said.

“Interesting vernacular you have there. You use the word ‘imported’ as if they were a crate of microchips or lettuce. I think the words ‘abducted’ and ‘smuggled’ are more appropriate, don’t you? Who was this friend?” Rear Adm. Crandall asked.

Mezvinsky said he did not know. He claimed that he was to wait in the vehicle while Chelsea escorted the children to a hotel room in Rockport, Massachusetts. He also denied knowledge of the youngsters’ names, for Chelsea, like her mother, indecipherably scrambled proper names into anagrams to thwart attempts to track down smuggled children.

“Was it common for you and the defendant to personally deliver smuggled kids into the hands of pedophiles? You’re both high-profile people. Isn’t that a bit…risky and stupid?”

“It was rare, and she told me it was a special delivery. Besides, we had a get out of jail free card, like in the monopoly game,” Mezvinsky said.

“Get out of jail free card? Could you expand on that?” asked Rear Adm. Crandall.

“Say, for example, we got puled over by a state trooper, or even the feds, for whatever reason. They’d make one phone call and be told they’d have to release us, no questions asked,” Mezvinsky said.

“Are you suggesting, Mr. Mezvinsky, that local law enforcement and the intelligence agencies are subservient to the Clintons?” Rear Adm. Crandall asked.

“Absolutely,” Mezvinsky replied.

“It seems the Delta Force operators who arrested you didn’t honor that get out of jail free card you had,” Rear Adm. Crandall said.

“That was—unexpected,” Mezvinsky admitted.

Rear Adm. Crandall wanted to know if Hillary Chelsea Clinton knew the names of the thousands of children she and her family had sold to pedophiles, and the identities of the recipients.

“She does,” Mezvinsky said.

His admission caused Chelsea to launch into an inexorable rant against Mezvinsky, calling him a “spineless, sorry excuse of man, no backbone, no balls, piss-poor excuse of a husband. You keep your fucking mouth shut, that’s what you do, Marc.” Her outburst, Rear Adm. Crandall said, denoted a blatant contempt of courtroom civility, and he cautioned her to respect the court under threat of being gagged for the rest of the trial.

“During your testimony on Tuesday, Mr. Mezvinsky, you stated you were responsible for destroying evidence of Clinton crimes. But that’s not entirely true, is it? In your deposition, you told JAG you had screenshotted spreadsheets containing thousands of, how shall I put this, anagrammed names of both smuggled children and their intended recipients, including dollar amounts they were to be sold for. Is that correct?” Rear Adm. Crandall asked.

Mezvinsky nodded, saying he need “an insurance policy” against Clinton retaliation, in case they turned on him.

Rear Adm. Crandall approached the 3 officers tasked with judging the military’s evidence on Clinton. He laid on the table a ream of paper, saying the documents, regardless of muddled names, conclusively proved that Chelsea Clinton had authorized the selling of children who had been smuggled into the United States from countries such as Haiti, Columbia, and the Ukraine.

One recipient’s anagram–Tindus Komsovitz—appeared 11 times. Rear Adm. Crandall told the tribunal that U.S. Army Intelligence and Security Command at Ft. Meade had rigorously scrutinized the database and deduced that “Tindus Komsovitz” was really Facebook Co-Founder Dustin Moskovitz, a longtime friend of the Clintons who had donated millions of dollars to Hillary Clinton’s election campaigns.

“I ask you, directly, Mr. Mezvinsky—did you and Chelsea Clinton sell children to Dustin Moskovitz?”

Rivulets of tears streamed down Mezvinsky’s face. “I’m sorry, yes, him and so, so many others.”

“And you’ll provide us the names you—” Rear Adm. Crandall started, but Chelsea rose to her feet and again lambasted her husband.

“You’ll keep your fucking mouth shut,” Clinton blurted, her voice a witch’s cackle.

Per Rear Adm. Crandall’s instructions, a pair of Marines gagged Clinton and dragged her from the chamber.

Rear Adm. Crandall asked the panel whether it had heard enough, and the officers unanimously found Chelsea Clinton guilty of all charges and recommended she be executed for crimes against humanity and for destroying the lives of countless families. Rear Adm. Crandall, however, admitted to quandary—could the U.S. military execute Clinton given the absence of evidence that she was guilty of murdering an American citizen or committing treason as stipulated under the Insurrection Act of 1812, the U.S. Constitution, or the Patriot Act.

Sentencing, Rear Adm. Crandall said, would commence “in days.”

“She will either be hanged or spend life at GITMO,” Rear Adm. Crandall said.